PRETORIANS: I’m surrounded by informants, all kinds of weird shit happening

I used to go frequently to Tarot readings (An Female Expert maybe 45 years old and her Female Student maybe 25). I came in touch with the Expert maybe a year ago, just happened to talk to her, maybe it was her way of doing acquisition, did maybe 5 sessions, then her son got very ill and she needed to take care of him, for half a year or so, occasionally I did sessions with the Student then, maybe 4 or 5, but she always told the same manipulative story, each time with total different drawn Tarot cards!? She also told me the 2nd or 3rd session that people can get manipulated by Tarot Readings, I thought what a nerve!!! SHE could be an informant, manipulating me by the same story every time!
Expert was back again, did maybe 4 or 5 sessions with her, she became more an more bitchy, humiliating me, keeping me down, her somewhat more diverse readings had a manipulative core too, could be she is instructed to do so, as an informant, a pity, I regard people very quickly as friends or friendly despite my tendency towards paranoia, maybe even despite my paranoia, because you never are certain of these things. A Tarot reading goes by voluntary donations, and I always payed about $ 7.00 per reading.
I used to be in talk show, nothing big a YouTube channel, maybe 10 people simultaneously watching, but the producer kept inviting me three times to unknown non public places with unknown people, this can be a trap, I always refused, later I could turn such an invitation to an appointment in a public restaurant where he would bring the woman talk host too, he and she did not show up, he did not call to cancel after 30 minutes, I called him and he said he had no credits on his phone, so he could not call and was in a meeting. He could be an informant trying lure me in a trap, at the before mentioned unknown non public places. I suspect he steals my cigarettes, lighters and stuff, and stiffed me for money in a verbal agreed business deal. OK I got him later cornered in front of other people so he had to finally pay, these non-informant people his cover depends on? Could all be for demotivating and driving me insane, who can tell?

…you got to make friends of your paranoia, otherwise it becomes an enemy to be feared…

…the darkness, the darkness, the darkness…

…there is so much darkness around me, OK I’m one of those briljant autistic people and eccentric too, they say, “Idiot Savant” they say, people say a lot, but this is not all my fault, not only my doing, not only my mistakes, most of my life (for about 55 years) this was never the case, someone also creates darkness around me…

signed Johan Gerard van der Galiën.

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